Sunday, July 19

Emotionally Disturbed

I dont know what triggers it
I just know this treason
of the brain, a severe headache
and the loss of reason

I become a stranger to myself
The feeling possesses my soul
All I want is to hate you, lash
you, before I become whole

Few minutes ago, I served you tea
and worried about your knee pain
was it that smirk on your face, a private
hatred for me, that caused the strain ?

I stormed out of the room,
I threw my cup, stomped in a fit
I abused you, you a stoic image
I, the captive of this mental cesspit

You sat there battered but unfazed
The tea turned tepid, irking me more
I had to do something much worse
To drag you out of you stupor

I saw you sprung into action
When I flung on the gas stove
A strange look on your face
A mix of exhaustion and love

You held me hard, my body
caught in violent paroxysm
You walked me back, my body
loosening, my mind still a prison

When I waded into a slumber
I saw you bent over me
You were wiping my vomit
And holding your pained knee

I know its wrong, what I do
My little holiday, this subterfuge
If only I could get a grip
There wouldnt be so much rue

If only you had held my hand
And only if you had been
a little less critical, I would
have fought the demon within

And so you go about your day
Reading a book, nursing your pain
I get up and make you tea, and
from allusion to "it", we abstain

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

it was heartwrenching...dont know whom to feel sorry for. Cud identify so deeply with the emotions