Saturday, March 17

JLT

It has been an entire year of lacking inspiration to write on something.

My 9 to 6 whirlwind existence in a financial services firm ( yeah I still work) renders me ineffective for most things. Gone are the dreams of setting up a kitchen with a oh la la ! inbuilt oven and a sexy red kitchen aid. I have jettisoned dreams of  me ( svelte figure of course) baking muffins in a feminine sarong putting 50 years of Nigella Lawson to shame.

Gone are the happy thoughts of  me sitting near the fire with stacks and stacks of books , a gin in one hand and a pen in another. In this dream, I am 40, I am still svelte and  I am writing witty poems that the world cant get enough of.

1 minute commercial - As i try blogging today with a sweet banana face mask for my extra sensitive skin, my dogs get literary. Vinci  my Labrador has put his chin on the keyboard and the screen is so full of 0000000000000000000. May be he wants me to write a Bond story. ( Men in my life always push me to commercial success over critical acclaim).My pug saki finally decides that banana face mask is edible. As I ward both of them off I lose the tenuous thought I was holding to.

Today my life revolves around managing work ( which has a propensity to become unmanageable) catch up with FB. With FB, my residual feelings of guilt towards friends for not calling them or meeting them have gone. C'mon, they even know what I ate today and I know if they have lost weight or gained it depending on how old their FB snap is ( the older the snap, the more weight they have put on recently !) I wish all my friends well and like someone said  - May your life be as great as you demonstrate it on FB. I was discussing this ( interestingly again on FB ) that all psychometric profiling on preference, personality and extraneous aspects of it must must have questions about FB. If you don't have an FB account that's serious serious angularity. Its almost like you don't have a relationship with yourself.

I read Candence Bushnell last year, she is the goddess of shall we say chick lit ( do not squirm, I also read Mckinsey reports on Future of Insurance Industry and I need to balance the gruesome with  a little something, you get the drift right, I hate it when people spoil my confessions with their judgements. not convinced yet ? Let me fling this one on  you. One of the most successful banker in  Corporate India and an inspiration to generation of women also reads Mills and Boons once in a while. ( Its all about balance)

So coming back to Bushnell who makes me fall in love with myself like fifteen years back ( svelte figure, cathartic shoes, bleary eyed and read Bimal Jalan ). I read " Sex and the City" which I prefer watching than reading and then I read On Fifth Avenue. And I felt a bit like Mindy Gooch. Our circumstances are different , our issues are different but I so related to her fatigue. She was fatigued with being successful yet being a failure deep inside. She was tired of being not so affluent in an affluent set up, tired of work that did not satisfy her deeply, tired of the trade offs she made, the man she married, or the one she didn't. Tired that she couldn't hang her boots when she wanted to. Tired of being the one who has to take care of everything, tired of being strong. If Bushnell can create Mindy or for that matter Miranda, she is more much much more than a chick lit writer.

I want to write a lot more, may be even chick lit story ( I tremendously liked Advaita Kala's Simply Single.) but its my gym time. My personal chick moment.

No comments: